There was a recent psychological quote which stated that just because someone is quiet does not mean the person has nothing to say. Indeed, many times the person does not feel that his or her thoughts can be handled by the person they are keeping quiet to. Although many people are strong proponents of “saying what you feel,” oftentimes that can be very dangerous to a marriage, friendship, or acquaintanceship.
Granted, holding in your feelings and saying nothing to no one swings the emotional pendulum the completely opposite way, and is just as toxic. However, being “quick to hear and slow to speak,” as James 1:19 commands, is a nugget for everyone to keep and apply in their everyday lives.
These principles certainly apply when it comes to a marriage. Way too many times, spouses treat each other worse than they do their friends, co-workers, or pastors who could have done the very same “offense” to them.
A very wise verse in Proverbs states, “Fools give full vent to their rage, but the wise bring calm in the end.” Another one states, “A person’s wisdom yields patience; it is to one’s glory to overlook an offense.” The common thread of these verses prove that “flipping off at the mouth” brings damage to both to doer and the hearer.
Wendy Blight of Christianity.com shared how God transformed her mind based on Proverbs 19:11.
“…through His Word, God gently corrected me. I sensed Him saying that I can choose to look past people’s words and not receive them with an offended heart. I discovered that I needed to LISTEN objectively and ask: What is driving their words? Do they have a valid point? Do they have a deep hurt? Or do they need something I am not giving?”
With much practice, the world around us will look much different when these principles become a part of our lifestyle.