Listen, Reflect, Speak

One of the biggest causes to ineffective communication is the problem of listening. Oftentimes, we make a conclusion from a statement based on half (sometimes, not even that much) of what is being said, without letting the person finish.

Think of it this way. If I tell you, “I think that you are terrib…”, you may cut me off and say, “No no no no… you are terrible at your business decisions. Get that right first, then come to me about my problems.” As a result, I decided to abort the conversation, and it does not go as planned. What you do not know is, however, I was about to say, “I think that you are terribly funny.”

From a recent survey posted on the MSN Living website, over half (56 percent) of marriages end in divorce because of excessive arguing. Clinton Power – Relationship Counselor and Founder of Clinton Power and Associates – states regarding this issue, “One of the primary reasons arguments perpetuate is because you’re not understanding, appreciating or validating your partner’s perspective. Once you can begin to appreciate a reality different from your own, you’re on the way to de-escalating conflict and finding solutions.”

TODAY’S MISSION: Whomever you are listening to, WAIT UNTIL THE END OF THEIR STATEMENT. Then, make a responsive comment. Regardless, DO IT CIVILLY.

2 responses to “Listen, Reflect, Speak”

  1. It’s so true, and I know I’m often guilty of doing this. It just does so much for the other person when they know you are listening completely and that you truly value what they say.


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